Honoring and Cherishing Loved Ones

Nowadays as in Biblical times, it is difficult to find a good partner… be it for business or for love. For example, Job’s wife often questioned his faith and integrity in accepting so much adversity, with this questioning only adding to his trials (Job 2:9-10). Like Job, our loved ones often test our patience. God presents us with these challenges for a reason; to show us how to look beyond and find good in our current situation as well as come to understand that He is always working with and through us … even in adversity.

Like many, I believe Proverbs 31:10-31 is a continuation of the advise King Lemuel’s mother taught him in Proverbs 31:1-9 about using the strength that is within to serve the needs of others. That by using our strength to serve others, we learn how to love our selves and others, and in turn, by learning how to love others and our selves, we learn to recognize when love returns to us in the form of a virtuous partner. A virtuous partner then is not only viewed as serving the needs of their loved one, but also in wanting only that which is good for them, not evil. This is such a powerful verse to read then to live by. On the surface, it seems easy. Don’t kill, maim, or otherwise harm your loved one. Like most, I can do that. What is more challenging though is the realization that anything not good and uplifting to your loved one is essentially evil. For example: do you ever find yourself talking about him behind his back, back talking him, demeaning him in front of others, discouraging him, dishonoring him, snagging the last cookie or slice of pie from him, talking down to him, or otherwise nagging him?

In determining whether we are indeed providing what is best for our loved one, we need to take a closer… if not painful… look in the mirror at how we choose to live our life. Specifically, we need to listen to what we say and observe ourselves as others would at what we do. After that, we need to ask ourselves honestly: Do my words and my deeds truly demonstrate to the one I love that I not only wish to love and serve him, but that I am also a constant benefit and blessing to him?

Being human, we most likely do not like what we hear or see at times. At the very least, we find areas where we can improve. All improvements start with trust, which is also the foundation of any healthy  relationship. When each partner feels safe, trust develops. Trust, and the security it offers, however, does not occur over night. Rather, it develops over time when each partner knows that their loved one consistently demonstrates that they love, serve, and want what is best for them. Trust also develops when expressed words are consistent with actions shown. For example, verbal expressions of “I love you” are always backed up with actions such as attention, appreciation, and affection that clearly demonstrate love. Most of all, in finding a virtuous partner who is genuine, reliable, responsible, and agreeable, both partners feel truly blessed and have much gratitude as they know God had a hand in bringing them together.